Cleaning Out the Filter

Many, many times I think of witty and/or cutting things I would like to post on Facebook. However, there’s a filter in my head that often stops me. (Oddly enough, that filter seems to have my mother’s voice…) It saddens me to realize that my sharply or succinctly worded zingers will never be appreciated by the world at large…or…you know…my 53 Facebook friends…
But nothing is stopping you from using them… I make you free of them… Borrow to your heart’s content…

—–
“I’m not responsible for what you think; I’m responsible for what I do….so stop telling me what you think – I don’t care.”

“When you begin your post with ‘I don’t want to offend anyone, but…’ rest assured – you’re not fooling anyone, either.”

“I have no interest in your Pinterest.”

“You built a pretend barn for an imaginary cow that you found on your fake farm on Facebook……Yay.”

“I do not have time to update my Facebook status…I’m too busy actually doing real things.”

“I wish Facebook had a ‘This Post Annoys Me’ button. I don’t think I would use it, but it sure would be nice to have the option.”

“Why do you put so many smileys in your posts? The only people who smile that much in real life are ones who are not trusted with sharp objects.”
—–

There. Now that I’ve gotten some of that out of my system, I can go back to being nice to people on Facebook. Have a lovely day.

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