Apparently, I dropped the ball. Everyone else is posting about the blessings of Thanksgiving. I must have missed that memo, but I’m now making up for it with a list of things I was thankful for over this holiday weekend.
Lil’ Sis and I drove to Savannah, GA, for the holiday to visit with one of her college friends. Since they’re Honduran, I wasn’t entirely sure what our Thanksgiving feast would consist of. I was very thankful to be greeted with the smell of a baking turkey. (Not that I’m opposed to ethnic cuisine…I just don’t particularly care for turkey, and this is the only time of year that I eat it. I would hate to miss out…figure out that logic, why don’t you!) So, without further ado…my Random Acts of Thankfulness List:
Dear Rude Yankee driver flashing your lights because you want me to drive faster,
Let me clue you in on something here: You’re in the South. Down here, we only flash our headlights at people when there is danger ahead. Like: the bridge is out, or there’s a speed trap coming. We don’t flash our lights in people’s rearview mirrors just because we think
that 80 in a 70 isn’t fast enough they should drive faster. If we don’t like how fast someone is driving, we just say, “bless their heart” and go around.
So, thank you. Thank you, first of all, for only vacationing here, not moving here. And thank you, for finally figuring out what to do with that empty lane to your right.
(I suppose I should interject a thank you to my sister’s Christmas CD collection. It’s difficult to yell at moronic drivers when you’re listening to songs about the sweet Baby Jesus.)
Dear State of Georgia,
Although Interstate 16 is most likely the boringest piece of road ever carved out of Creation, you do have some entertaining road signs. For instance: “Water on road when raining.” …really? How many tax dollars funded that research? or “Speed checked by detection devices.” Um. So. How did you check it before? Did you just lick your finger and try to catch the breeze from the passing cars??
Also, your towns have funny names. Flippin, GA. That provided quite a bit of entertainment. (It’s right near Butts County.)
So, thank you. Thank you for making a long drive less interminable.
Dear Yessi’s Abuela who doesn’t speak English,
Thank you for not mocking me unmercifully when I tried to tell you the food was good, but instead asked you where the bathroom was.
(Ok, that didn’t actually happen, but I was terrified that it would, so I didn’t even try to speak Spanish. …Those two years of high school German aren’t looking all that practical about now…)
Dear Awkwardly tall salesperson at the Souvenir Shop,
Thank you for miraculously discovering a random 40% off sale when I broke that mug. I broke it, so I should pay for it, but you were sweet to not charge me full price. From now on, I will keep my hands to myself. I promise.
Dear Honey Boo Boo,
I had never been exposed to you before this weekend. You are a train wreck. I guess you can’t be blamed, because you come from an entire family of train wrecks. I don’t know why I watched your show. Something drew me, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the white trash horror. However, I thank you…for representing the state of Georgia, and not my state!!
Dear Whoever it was that decided Bama would take a knee instead of kicking a field goal, thereby making me lose the bet with my brother in law that we would break 50 points,
…You know what…I am NOT thankful for you. Not at all.
Dear Sweet Home Alabama State Line,
I am always thankful for you. Whenever I see you, I know that I’m almost home. If I had ruby slippers, I would click them, because there really is no place like home.
(What about you? What random act of craziness are you thankful for?)