Inquiring Minds Want to Know…

bodyguards-trainingI’ve recently begun re-watching one of my favorite shows.

(There is perhaps a certain psychological significance in that…a search for comfort and familiarity in the midst of chaos…or some other such drivel.)

The problem with seeing a show for the fourth or *ahem* fifth time, is that I am no longer caught up in the suspense and emotional tension of the plot, but instead I notice all the little details: the illogical plot holes, the cinematic assumptions.

(Like: “This chick took a bullet to the shoulder on the last mission, and had a bandage two scenes ago…now she’s wearing a slinky dress??!! Where’s the wound??!!”)*

So anyway, there’s this scene where the Big Bad Guy is bullying a Not-So-Innocent Private Citizen into giving him a possibly world-destroying Secret Invention. The Private Citizen won’t cooperate, so Big Bad looks at his Brutish Bodyguard, who promptly shoots the poor guy in the kneecap.

Which made me wonder…

How did he know to do that??

Was there some sort of pre-bullying meeting where BBG tells BB, “OK, I’m going to ask this guy for his Super Nasty Neutron Wave Tissue Vaporizer, and if he doesn’t give it to me with adequate hustle, I want you to take out his ankles…no wait…his kneecaps. Yeah. Definitely his kneecaps.”

Or did they have a signal worked out? “If I nod, go for the knee. If I raise an eyebrow, break his arm.”

What if the Burly Bodyguard makes a mistake, or they get their signals crossed? “I wanted you to pistol-whip him, not kill him!! Now I’ll never get to take over the world!! You’re fired!!”

Maybe there’s some sort of Thug School where future minions learn these protocols for violent reactions. Do they take classes on looking imposing and get graded on surliness and blank expressions?

Is there a Ruffian Manual called Proper Protocol for Dealing with Incorrect Answers?

These are questions I ponder…I do not think I’m alone.

So, if you’re a Hooligan for Hire, and you wish to enlighten the world, please respond in the Comments. (Anonymously if you so desire.)

*I actually notice stuff like that all the time, and will invariably comment on it…you really do not want to watch movies with me.

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2 thoughts on “Inquiring Minds Want to Know…

  1. As for bodyguards, response to a threat is, of course, dictated by logic and training. Whereas, intimidation and interrogation are usually a blend of effectiveness and personal preference. Setting and tools are also contributing factors, but that goes without saying.

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