Goodnight, Brain

woman-sitting-on-a-basket-with-head-in-hands-1883

Woman Sitting on a Basket
Van Gogh

I’ve had a hard time sleeping lately.

I don’t know if it’s because there’s so much on my mind, or because it’s just so dang hot these days.

One of the symptoms (or side effects) of not being able to sleep is that my brain just won’t shut off. It mulls over and over and over whatever problem or perplexity or snippet of song happens to light its fancy.

It’s rather annoying.

And the most annoying thing of the annoyingness is that lately, in the dim, dark recesses of night, my sleep-eluding brain has been pondering the things that annoy me.

For instance:

I recently read an article that began, “I personally believe…” and continued to state emphatically whatever it was the author held so dearly.

Oh merciful heavens.

First of all, if you believe something, then obviously it’s something that is personally believed by you. There is no need to state that it is your personal belief. All beliefs are personal.

Also, if you are going to make an emphatic statement in support of or in contradiction to an issue, then we can all assume that whatever you are declaring, you believe. Therefore, the entire phrase is superfluous.

Another:

“Please try and see it my way.”

Oh my stars! My head heats up and my temples start to boil.

What am I trying?

You just gave me a directive, but not an object. That is similar to your mother telling you to go to the store, but not asking you to buy anything.

“Go to the store.”

“What do I need to buy?”

“Nothing, love. Just go hang out at Walmart. The freaks are out this time of night.”

(Side note: that’s actually a rather entertaining pastime.)

The correct form would be, “Please try to see it my way.”

What am I trying? I’m trying to see it your way.

There. Directive. Object. Peace.

I know not everyone *ahem* sees this my way. (In fact, Jane Austen didn’t.) If you want to argue formal and informal usage and idioms and colloquialisms, go right ahead.

It will only cause me to state emphatically that I personally believe you’re an ignoramus.

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5 thoughts on “Goodnight, Brain

  1. This reminds me of watching The Talk on CBS. Each day, the ladies begin their rants with, “I feel like” or “For me personally,” and I want to strangle them. Yes, we know that you are not speaking for anyone other than yourself. Just grow a spine and say, “Her outfit is ugly,” instead of “Well, I just feel like that in my opinion, the way that this makes me feel is that it’s not that pretty.” P.S. I sleep four hours each night, so I completely understand crazy brain ramblings in the wee hours.

  2. Did you realize that the second sentence of the second to last paragraph is a fragment? I am sure that it was caused by your lack of rest. 🙂 I wish I had more time to write… Your posts are always amusing.

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